I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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