I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
