we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
