Porn is love you can see.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
