Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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