I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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