this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We're using joints as your birthday candles
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
