He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You are a genius and a whore.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
