Non-Jews are for practice
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
