Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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