i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
