He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
