I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have already put on my inside pants.
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