whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize