We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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