Sponge bath it is.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
