You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
did i walk over a car last night?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
