He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
