Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
