I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
