he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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