I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
