You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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