i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
