I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
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I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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