Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize