Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
