she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
