I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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