People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize