last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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