can u get pink eye on your cock?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
