Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
