Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
COCAINE IS GR8
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
