how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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