Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
