Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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