I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
