is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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