So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
