You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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