I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
