I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
