last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
