Rock
Scissors
Fuck
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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