I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
