Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
