I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
