There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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