): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Randomize
