i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
