break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize
