Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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