I bet he comes in French.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
