he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
