I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize