I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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