I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
