Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
