This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
