I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Randomize
