Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
