Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
