Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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